


Do Cryogenically Frozen Assassins Dream of Icy Death?

by Brumeier



Series: Making Connections [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Dreams and Nightmares, M/M, Memory Loss, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-22
Updated: 2015-07-22
Packaged: 2018-04-10 14:26:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4395332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brumeier/pseuds/Brumeier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Bucky sleeps, what does he dream about?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do Cryogenically Frozen Assassins Dream of Icy Death?

When he was still the Asset he didn’t dream during his so-called rest periods. The cryosleep process slowed down the chemical processes in his brain, the same way it slowed his heart rate and metabolism.

They brought him out as a blank slate each time, ready to receive his orders, ready to learn the necessary skills to navigate through whatever decade he was in. Once the mission was completed he’d be wiped and the process would start all over again. Dreaming was never part of any of that.

Breaking free from Hydra had brought a whole host of changes to his life, not all of them good. He was able to make his own decisions but he had no way of knowing if they were right or wrong. A life without rules, or structure, or expectations could be frighteningly chaotic. The choices were too many, the consequences difficult to predict.

The dreams were the worst.

The mind-wiping procedure wasn’t completely effective. Some memories remained, buried way down deep and as fragmented as the rest of him. 

_A child’s scream. A dead pigeon. Blowing sand. A dainty teacup with a blue lace pattern. Painted red stars. Fat snowflakes drifting out of a steely gray sky. A woman’s bloody mouth. A tattered teddy bear with one eye missing. Flash of yellow. Water flowing over his skin. Sadness, anger, desperation. The smell of rotting flesh. Punk. A man’s head seen through a rifle scope. Someone laughing. Someone begging. Fear._

He always woke from these dreams with fearful protests on his tongue and his heart pounding in his ears. He didn’t know what any of it meant. Like so many other things in his new life, he had no frame of reference.

But.

On the very rarest of occasions he’d wake with an overwhelming feeling of loss, the dreams coalescing into something more linear. Pieces of his past, both distant and more recent, left an imprint of emotion that followed him around for the whole day.

_Feeding scraps of meat to a thin, mangy dog in a public square surrounded by tall spires and men with long lengths of cloth wrapped around their heads. The dog licked his hand and he was glad he didn’t have to kill it._

_A woman combing his hair, checking him for lice. The rhythmic motion of the comb as soothing as the woman’s presence. She smelled of rosehips and powder._

_Sitting next to Steve on the bench in the park. There was a sense of familiarity, a connection very nearly tangible in its strength even if the actual memories weren’t there. When Steve smiled it lit up his whole face._

He didn’t need much sleep, never had. Maybe it was his training, or the way he’d been altered. Sleeping left him vulnerable to more than just disjointed dreams. Sometimes he longed for the cold, dreamless sleep he’d had in the cryo chamber, especially on the nights when the only things that came to him were visions of blood and death and pain.

And sometimes he woke up with a smile lingering on his lips because at some point in his life he’d been loved. He almost remembered it.

**Author's Note:**

>  **AN:** Just a little something that’s been my mind. I don’t know why. But I figured Bucky wouldn’t have very good dreams, not after all the mucking around Hydra did in his head.
> 
> Thanks to [darkmoore](http://archiveofourown.org/users/darkmoore/pseuds/darkmoore) for the read-through and encouragement!


End file.
